One in Every Minyan

Sorry for the Long Radio Silence...

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:39:22 GMT

...but between moving house in late December and some recent medical issues (all is well, just been exhausting from the multiple appointments and all), I have been spending all my spare time trying to figure out this story I've been banging my head against.

But finally I've shaken free from the writing-related miasma. What did I do? Gave into the inevitable and put the story into first person. I'd been struggling to write in third person, but my natural writing style seems to be first, and once I let myself write in first person, the words began to flow again.

So I guess the rule is, give up on third person, at least for now. Go with what feels most natural, most comfortable, and just let the character drive.

For the Glowing Chanukah Lights Contest!

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:31:00 GMT

The Glowing Lights of Chanukah will soon be here and there are Gifts waiting for you!
Beginning Wednesday, December 17th join Ten authors who have gathered romance stories with Jewish heroes and heroines from all walks of life: >From the days of the Maccabees to Regency England to modern day America to parallel worlds; from sweet to spicy hot. Tell us the names of their heroes and heroines and send them to borntowrite@writeme.com to be entered in a drawing of Gifts for the Season. The winner will be drawn December 22nd, the first day of Chanukah!

My story contribution to this contest is Voices of Joy and Gladness, of the Groom and the... Groom. An excerpt can be found here.

Check out my story for the names of my heroes, and then head to Samantha Kane's blog tomorrow for the next clue!

Glowing Chanukah Lights Contest

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:13:08 GMT

The Glowing Lights of Chanukah will soon be here and there are gifts waiting for you. Beginning Wednesday, December 17th join ten authors who have gathered romance stories with Jewish heroes and heroines from all walks of life, from the days of the Maccabees to Regency England to modern day America, from sweet to spicy hot. Tell us the names of their heroes and heroines and send them to borntowrite @ writeme.com (remember to remove spaces) to be entered in a drawing for gifts for the season.

The winner will be drawn December 22nd, the first day of Chanukah!

Start the celebration with authors:

WEDNESDAY

1. Keira Andrews -- BLOG: http://slash-and-burn.blogspot.com/2008/12/new-novel-daybreak.html BOOK: "Daybreak" ("Eight Nights")
2. Astrid Amara -- BLOG: http://astridamara.livejournal.com/ BOOK: "Holiday Outing"
3. Cheryl Dragon -- BLOG: www.myspace.com/cheryldragon BOOK: "Bad Brad"

THURSDAY

4. Melissa Glisan -- BLOG: dogwild.blogspot.com BOOK: "Festival of Lights"

5. Jeanne Barrack -- BLOG: http://thesweetflagmenlove.blogspot.com/ BOOK: "The Game"

6. EM Ben Shaul -- BLOG: http://embenshaul.livejournal.com/ BOOK: "Voices of Joy and Gladness, of the Groom and the... Groom"

FRIDAY

7. Samantha Kane -- BLOG: http://www.kissandtellgirls.blogspot.com BOOK: "The Courage to Love"
8. Eva Gordon -- BLOG: http://evagordon.blogspot.com/ BOOK: "The Stone of the Tenth Realm"

SUNDAY

9. KZ Snow -- BLOG: http://kzsnow.blogspot.com BOOK/S: "Plagued"; "Obsessed"
10. James Buchanan -- BLOG: http://eroticjames.livejournal.com/ BOOKS: The series is “Taking the Odds”

Ha! I Think I Have a Title

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:19:26 GMT

I have a new story in the works (see early mumbling about characters), but I didn't have any clue of a title. I think I've now come up with the title of the story:

Standing On One Foot

It may change (my titles are almost never set in stone until the final draft), but I think this one has sticking power.

Developing New Characters

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:30:01 GMT

I have some new characters (in Dani and Avi's universe) whom I need to develop, and so I need to do what I always do -- "interview" them. A number of years ago, a friend pointed me to a compendium of questions that one can ask one's characters, and that's how I tend to do new character development. It sounds odd, sure, but it works for me. :-)

But that made me wonder how other people do character development. Do you just write and see where the character takes you? Free writing with a focus on the character (if that can be called true free writing)? Something else entirely?

A Very Nice Review for "Voices of Joy and Gladness..."

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:58:24 GMT

louisaclark very kindly reviewed all of the Wedding Sips. And her review of "Voices of Joy and Gladness, of the Groom and the...Groom" is lovely:

Avi is a bundle of nerves as his anxiety tried to get the best of him. Dani is such a loving and supportive partner, his quiet assurance an anchor for Avi, Dani knowing exactly what to say and do to calm the stressed Avi. Dani’s characterization was my favorite part of the story, as it said so much concerning his love for Avi. Which in turn reflected Avi’s love for Dani. Two pieces of a whole.

Read the whole review here.

Unintended Double Meaning in Radio Ad

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:46:11 GMT

The radio station I listen to runs a lot of PSAs for various government programs. One they started running last week contains the following (approximately):

"*Ding*! That's the sound of your ex-boyfriend sending that picture of you in your underwear to all of your friends. *Ding!* And now to your coach. *Ding!* And, worst of all, to your father."

It is an ad trying to teach (I presume) teenagers to think before posting things online, with the message that it'll be seen by people they didn't even think would ever see it.

But I heard another message -- either it's pro-women's-sports (the photo is being sent to "your coach"), or it's in favor of gay guys dating (it's being sent by "your ex-boyfriend").

Either way, it works for me. But I doubt the US government intended that message.

Welcome, New Folks!

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:17:26 GMT

Hi to the new people who have started reading here since the publication of my Torquere Press Wedding Sip, Voices of Joy and Gladness, of the Groom and the... Groom.

Avi and Dani were my first pair of original characters, and they're still the muses closest to my heart. I've got a bunch of stuff written about them, some of which will likely be posted here over the next little while.

Thank you for reading me, and I hope you'll enjoy what you read here.

Lying in the Bed I Made

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:49:42 GMT

I volunteered to participate in the snippet day that Kiernan so kindly offered to the writers of Wedding Sips, but now I have to figure out what to use as a snippet. It's a longish story (about 8K words), but I have no idea what to snip -- a beginning bit? The middle-ish, where the wedding planning is in full swing? Near the end, where they're actually having the wedding?

I'd snip a sex scene, as that always brings the readers ;-), but this is told from Avi's POV, so there's no actual sex in this story.

I have until some time tomorrow to figure this out, I guess.

My New Story will be Out This Weekend!

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:12:31 GMT

Or, as the official blurb says...

Check out Torquere Press' Wedding Sip Blitz! Twenty of Torquere's great authors have written wedding themed stories to show their support in the fight for equal recognition of gay and lesbian marriage! Sexy and sweet, funny and dramatic, these Sips will satisfy everyone's urge for something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue! The best part about the Sip Blitz is that all of the authors have agreed to donate the profits from their wedding Sips to charity, with Torquere Press matching their donation 100%! All profits collected from the sale of the wedding Sips will be donated the Lambda Legal Defense Fund. Sips cost just $1.29, and you can't beat that for entertainment and a good cause! Buy them all, and get the entire twenty Sip package for 15% off! Who doesn't love a happy ending? The Sip Blitz begins Saturday, September 13, 2008!

Massachusetts has same-sex marriage thanks to the efforts of groups like MassEquality, but we're definitely in the minority. Help Torquere celebrate its birthday and raise money to help others achieve the same equality, and get some great stories in the process!

Sale!!

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:22:32 GMT

On Saturday night (right at the beginning of the major fast day of Tisha b'Av, so I didn't say anything then), I got notice that I had sold my story ""Voices of Joy and Gladness, of the Groom and the... Groom" to the Wedding Sip Blitz coming up from Torquere Press.

This is the return of Dani and Avi, who were last seen in my story "Madim uG'madim" (which appeared in Men in Uniform II.)

I had a story-related epiphany last night...

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:45:25 GMT

...that may *finally* allow me to finish the novel-like-thing I've been working on seemingly forever. It occurred to me that I was going about the secondary conflict all wrong, and once I figured that out, it was clear how the rest of it would have to play out.

Now I just have to find the time to sit and work on it.

For those of you playing our home game, this is not the epic tale of the folks I introduced in "Madim U'Gmadim," it's another couple altogether whose story has been sitting untouched on my hard drive for over a year.

Men In Uniform II Joyfully Reviewed

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:39:35 GMT

Thanks to eroticjames for the link.

Men in Uniform II has been reviewed by Joyfully Reviewed, and they liked it. A lot. :-)

(They even kinda liked my story, I think...)

Still pondering the farce

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 20:24:52 GMT

I'm completely stuck on this one, mostly because I can't figure out who's trying to tell this story. From the stammering and blushing going on from that corner of my brain, I'd think it was Avi. But it has to be Dani in order for the whole thing to play out -- he can't know what Avi knows, he has to misunderstand all sorts of things that Avi wouldn't misunderstand.

I'm likely to have about 2-3 hours of uninterrupted writing time tomorrow night (provided I don't let myself get distracted), so maybe I'll make some headway in figuring this one out. It's one of those stories that I feel has to be written before I can get any further with these two, but it's fighting me in ways these stories don't usually fight me.

WIPs and Stubs

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:53:41 GMT

Related to yesterday's mental wanderings... should I post WIPs and stubs? I've got a ton of stuff that I've abandoned in one stage or another for Avi and Dani because they wouldn't play nice. And part of me can't help but think that airing them, showing them to someone who isn't me, might get me kicked into gear on them again. But another part of me winces at the idea of showing them to people because they go nowhere.

So I'll think and stew and maybe decide something, eventually.

Just what I needed...

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:21:56 GMT

I may have figured out how to get Avi out of his pants. Problem is, it feels more like farce than story. I mean, Avi and Dani are trading off telling this thing in my head, but I'm not convinced that any of it is real (they've lied to me before, led me down the wrong path for a long time before I figured it out). So now... well, now I'm not sure if this is something I should try writing (I have stubs of many, many stories for them) or if I should let them play it out in my head and see if it goes anywhere substantive.

Struggling with a Character

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:02:43 GMT

I've got a story part I know has to be written. I can *see* it in my head, almost completely. But I can't write it.

Why?

Because Avi won't take off his pants.

I mean, I know he does eventually. The boys get married, after all, in Carnival (my not-a-NaNoWriMo not-a-novel that got Jossed by the Massachusetts SJC), and there's at least one story part that already exists from which it's clear that Dani and Avi are sleeping together. But -- and here's where my frustration comes in -- I can't get Avi out of his pants.

(and, yes, this is what I was thinking about at one point yesterday while sitting in shul. Bad frummie. No cookie.)

And this one goes with what I just posted...

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:18:05 GMT

An Afternoon at the Improv - Dani

Oh, shit.

When I agreed to this lunch, I'd come up with a list of don'ts - don't blatantly ask Avi if he's straight; don't pressure him into anything, don't jump the gun.

And now I'd violated all three of those in one statement.

I sat there, across the table from Avi, waiting to see just how quickly he'd tell me to fuck off. And just how eloquently.

But he surprised me.

"OK," he said, looking me directly in the eye, "here's the truth. You didn't read me wrong, but you did."

If he called that the truth, we were in for a very short liaison. I opened my mouth to ask him to explain, but he raised his hand to stop me.

"Here's what I mean," he continued. "Yes, I am beginning to explore what I'm really looking for, and it's looking more and more like what I'm looking for is a relationship with a man rather than with a woman. But, and this is the key, I have no experience with this, and I have no idea what, if anything, you might expect from me. And I don't want to be pressured or cajoled or wheedled into anything before I am ready. So if you're prepared for that, then fine – let's see where this goes. But if you're not ready to go at my speed, let's forget this conversation ever happened and just see if we can be friends."

Avi was blushing a deep red and he was back to staring at the table instead of looking at me. And I had no idea how to respond. Everything that came to mind sounded so clichéd. I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't rush him, that he could set the pace, that all I wanted was for him to be comfortable. But Avi had no reason to believe me, so I didn't want to just be spouting pretty words that he'd dismiss.

I could feel Avi's discomfort, though, and I was not at all happy that I'd caused most of it. I had to fix this, and fast, before this relationship was the shortest on record.

"Avi," I said softly. "Hey, look at me. It's all right."

Avi looked up slightly but still wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I don't expect anything other than friendship. Honestly." And I was surprised to find that, despite my lust, I really meant it. If all Avi and I ended up as was friends, that would be fine.

Avi opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"That doesn't mean that I won't be thrilled if this builds to something more, but I'm not going to rush you."

Avi finally spoke. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I can't promise I won't accidentally move too fast for you, but I will definitely slow down the minute you say so. Trust me, Avi. Pressuring you isn't on my agenda."

"That's good to hear," Avi responded. "Though the thought that you have an agenda is a bit frightening."

"I didn't mean it that way," I said. "I just meant that, well, I like you. A lot. And I'd like to see where this goes, if anywhere. So pressuring you would be counter-productive."

Avi smiled shyly at me. And I realized that if he kept looking at me that way, I was going to have a real problem with the "slow, no pressure" thing. But I controlled myself. Dudu would be proud.

"So where does that leave us?" Avi asked.

"I don't see that anything has to change," I said. "We can go for coffee, meet for the occasional meal, maybe do the occasional movie, walking tour, concert – things friends do together. And then see what happens. No rushing, no pressure, just us following our own path. Is that OK?"

"I think I can live with that," Avi said.

We sat silently for a couple of minutes, and then I finally looked at my watch. "Oh, shit. I've got to go; I'm meeting with my boss at 2:30 and I am completely unprepared." I grabbed my backpack off the floor as I stood up.

Avi stood as well, and we headed back out to the street. "Well," Avi said once we were outside. "Thanks again for meeting me for lunch." He blushed. "And thanks for what you said in there. I really am interested; I just don't know what I'm doing."

"That's OK," I said. "We'll figure this out as we go along."

Avi reached out with his right hand, as if to shake mine.

"Hmm," I said with a smile, holding his outstretched hand loosely, "is there something in your universe between a handshake and a hug? 'Cause I think we've moved beyond one but not quite to the other."

Avi half-smiled at me. "I'm really not sure," he said.

"Eh," I said, "we'll improvise." I tugged lightly on the hand I was holding and Avi walked a couple paces toward me. I put my arm around his shoulders and squeezed lightly.

"Improvisation," Avi said. "I can live with that."

After a final squeeze, I let Avi go. If I stayed any longer, I was going to completely miss my meeting. We walked together to the corner of Washington Street, where we had to go in opposite directions.

"Have a good rest of the day, Avi. I'll call you tonight and find out how it went."

"I look forward to it," he responded.

With a final smile at each other, I headed left toward the T while Avi headed back toward the courthouse. Already I was planning our next get-together. It had to be somewhere public, so Avi wasn't spooked, but cozy, where we could talk.

Eh, I could always improvise.

Whew

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:16:14 GMT

Back from the long holiday sweep. So back to the business of posting stuff here, yes?

Staccato Signals of Constant Information - Avi

Since I'd instigated the lunch at Milk Street, I was very concerned that it all work out OK.

All right, to be honest, I'd be worried no matter which one of us had instigated it. I always feel awkward in one-on-one situations with new acquaintances, and I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of Dan. Now that the Gang of Three had planted the idea that Dan was interested in me, I was really worried that I would say something inappropriate. I had nothing to go on regarding Dan's sexuality other than Dalia's hunch. And, while I trust Dalia's hunches most of the time, she has been wrong a time or two. And it's always me that ends up embarrassed when she's wrong.

So now I was standing in front of the Milk Street Café having second thoughts about this lunch. My excuse for us getting together was very flimsy, and I was honestly surprised that Dan had agreed. But he had, and now I was here, waiting.

I looked at my watch for the second time in five minutes. It was still only 12:25. I had five more minutes before Dan was even scheduled to meet me, and that was only if his meeting ended on time. I was on a two-hour break, so I wasn't worried about getting back to the courthouse, but I figured that if lunch got too awkward I could beg off early.

I looked at my watch one more time. 12:29. I wasn't sure whether, as our appointed meeting time came, I was more worried that he would show up or that he wouldn't. I didn't think Dan would blow me off - he'd said he would call if he was running late, so I figured he really meant to meet me - but in some ways I would have a much easier time if he did. I could then go back to the Gang and explain that Dan had stood me up, and that would be the end of my brief experimentation into same-sex relationships.

If that was even what this would turn out to be. Heck, for all I knew, Dan was straight and involved with someone. I actually knew very little about him at all.

Though I could change that this afternoon, if the conversation permitted such personal questions.

"Hey, Avi!" I looked up again to see Dan headed down Milk Street toward me. "Sorry if I'm a bit late," he said. "I had to wait forever for the Red Line."

"Actually," I said, "you're right on time." I stuck my watch back into my pocket and smiled at Dan. "So...you ever been here before?"

"I've had their food at various work things, but I really didn't know they were kosher until just now. That is, I figure they're kosher or you wouldn't have recommended them." Dan looked quickly at the menu posted in the window of the café and then said, "Looks good. Let's go eat."

"They try to be subtle and attract clientele other than just the kosher-keepers. And I've seen people without kippot having business meetings here, so it seems to be working." I knew I was rambling again, but I was unable to stop myself. "Anyway, the food's good, so that's the place's main selling point."

We got into the line to order and after just a couple of minutes we were sitting down at one of the tables, our trays laden with food. Or, at least, mine was. Dan had gone for the Caesar salad and soup, I'd gone for the soup-and-entrée combination. Oh - and one of the decadent brownies. I almost never turn down an opportunity for one of Milk Street's brownies.

It took me a couple of minutes to realize that I'd been concentrating on my food much more than usual and that I was using it as a way to escape actually conversing with Dan. But I didn't know if I could say anything without it becoming a rambling mess again.

Luckily, Dan broke the silence. "So...what is it that you're up to today? Do you frequently have jobs that take you to Government Center?"

"I go wherever the job is," I said honestly. "I find myself travelling all over eastern Massachusetts, and some weeks I'm in Worcester one day, Dennis the next, and Lawrence on the third day. There aren't enough interpreters to fill all the jobs that people want us for, so we get gigs all over. During the school year, I have a relatively steady stream of business from the various colleges and universities, but during the summer and winter breaks, it's much more random." OK, I had now proven to myself that I could not avoid babbling like an idiot in front of Dan, but he didn't seem to mind it. In fact, he asked another question.

"Do you always carry a pocket watch? It's kind of cool - I love them, but I know I would lose it within 15 minutes if I wore one."

"The one I use was my grandfather's. He gave it to me when I graduated from college. At the time, I didn't know just how much use I'd get out of it. But I hate having a watch on while I'm signing - it distracts me, and that is very bad for an interpreter. So I started carrying a pocket watch, and now it's what I use exclusively."

"So it's handsome and practical. That's just cool." Dan ate a couple more bites of his salad, and I decided that it was time for me to start asking the questions; while he now knew such trivia about me as my preference in timepieces, I knew close to nothing about him. I didn't want to seem nosy or intrusive, but if the goal of this lunch was to get to know Dan better, I would have to actually get him to talk about himself.

"My siblings liked meeting you on Sunday, as did Dalia," I started. "Do you have any siblings?" The question was stilted and sounded a bit idiotic, but it still served my purpose - getting Dan to talk so that I'd stop rambling.

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "I have one brother, Dudu...Dave. He's three years younger than me. When we were younger, we were really competitive with one another. But now that we're older, we've actually become very close. Much to our mother's surprise." Dan chuckled quietly, then continued. "Actually, I had just gotten off the phone with him yesterday when you called."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He'd just suggested that I call you, invite you out for coffee again or something, and then the phone rang. That's why I was a bit short with you when I first answered the phone - I hadn't wanted to delay calling you because of some random caller."

"You were talking to your brother about me?" I asked, pleased for reasons I couldn't - or wasn't willing to - identify.

"He's the one I go to when I need to talk something out, need to figure out how to approach a situation."

I smiled. "Sounds like he serves a similar role for you as the Gang does for me."

"'The Gang'?" Dan asked.

"Jake, Chava, and Dalia. I've called them the Gang of Three since I was in high school."

"So you and Dalia have been together for, what, 15 years?" Dan looked perturbed, and that confused me. I had really gotten the impression yesterday that he and Dalia had gotten along during the tour.

"Actually, longer. She joined our class in tenth grade, and I was one of the only people who could communicate with her without the interpreter. So she and I ended up becoming friends very quickly...and lab partners, and study partners, and so forth. At times it must have seemed to my parents like Dal had moved in. And she was a good friend to Chava, too, who was going through the awkwardness of puberty compounded with her discomfort with being different because she's deaf. Dalia became Chava's mentor in many ways, showing her how to turn her differences into strengths."

Dan nodded. "I can see how that would be valuable for both of them," he said. "But can I ask you something that's totally not my business?" Dan asked.

"Uh...sure," I said. "But I reserve the right not to answer."

"Perfectly reasonable," he said. "So why haven't the two of you gotten married yet? Two frum people dating for over 15 years but still single? Haven't your parents - or hers - pressured you?"

I smiled. It was a common question, given the way Dalia and I interact. "No, Dalia and I aren't dating and we never have. Everyone seems to think we are, though, when they first meet her. It's just that - outside my immediate family - Dalia's probably the woman I'm most comfortable with, and most people interpret that as us having a romantic relationship. So if you're interested in her, I'm in no way an impediment."

Now Dan was smiling, too. "It's not Dalia that I'm interested in."

"Huh?" OK, so I'm not always quick on the uptake.

Dan's expression immediately turned more serious. "I may be completely wrong here, and you have every right to be offended if I am, but I'd like to think that you and I have enough in common to perhaps see where this might go - friendship or something more."

I blushed and looked down at the table. If I was understanding him correctly, Dan was asking me out. And I had no clue how to respond. In my wildest imagination I hadn't anticipated anything like this happening at lunch.

"Avi? You OK?" Dan's concerned tone pierced my confusion enough that I looked up again.

"Yeah...just overwhelmed," I said. "I...I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell me the truth. That's all I ever ask. If you're not interested, let me know. If this has made you decide that you don't want to even maintain a friendship with me, I'll understand. Hell, it wouldn't be the first time I misread someone."

Dan looked so worried that I squelched my automatic instinct to flee and instead contemplated what answer I could give. He wasn't wrong in the least, and I knew I had to tell him that. But I didn't know how. I was so inexperienced, so unsure of myself, that I was positive I would screw this up. Fleeing was, honestly, looking like a pretty good idea.

I presumed that Dan's idea of what we were going to be embarking upon was significantly beyond what I was ready for. For my own sanity, if Dan and I were about to begin some sort of relationship beyond a simple friendship, I was going to have to set boundaries and then stick to them. I've never been good at either one of those. But if I was going to stand up for myself, this was the time to do it, even though I knew that actually saying anything was going to be terribly embarrassing.

"OK," I finally said, "here's the truth. You didn't read me wrong, but you did." Dan started to speak again, but I waved him off. "Here's what I mean: yes, I am beginning to explore what I'm really looking for, and it's looking more and more like what I'm looking for is a relationship with a man rather than with a woman. But, and this is the key, I have no experience with this, and I have no idea what, if anything, you might expect from me. And I don't want to be pressured or cajoled or wheedled into anything before I am ready. So if you're prepared for that, then fine – let's see where this goes. But if you're not ready to go at my speed, let's forget this conversation ever happened and just see if we can be friends." I knew I was blushing, and I could see that Dan was staring at me. I looked down at the table, unable to meet Dan's eyes again.

I couldn't believe I'd said all that out loud. But Dan had asked, and if I couldn't be up front with him from the start, this whatever was going to be very short.

I waited to hear what Dan was going to say. But he was completely silent.

Building a website...

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:40:15 GMT

Now that I've sold my first story, I'm thinking it might be time to build myself a webpage. First off, I've bought a domain name, and I'm working on a preliminary home page.

But I don't know what to put up there. A short bio of me, possibly. A link to my published work, definitely. A link back here, to my journal, yeah. But now I'm stuck.

Anyone have any suggestions?

And now one from Avi

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:42:10 GMT

(it goes with "Brotherly Advice")

You Can Always Count on the Cheap Seats - Avi

*He likes you.* Dalia wasted no time after Dan descended into the T stop to start deconstructing the afternoon.

"She's right," Jake piped up, and Chava was nodding as well. "He likes you."

"I like him, too," I responded. "We had a very pleasant conversation over coffee before I hooked up with you guys."

"No, doofus," Jake said. "He likes you. He's interested in you."

"We're not having this conversation right now," I said adamantly. "I'm not talking about this here, in the T. I'm just not."

*OK,* Chava signed. *Would you prefer to do this at Dalia's place or at yours?*

I sighed. It was obvious that the Gang of Three was not going to let me avoid this topic, much as I'd been trying. It was my fault, anyway, for telling Dalia that I'd been doubting my attraction to women. She, of course, told Chava, who told Jake, and that was the end of that secret.

"My place. Definitely."

"Oh, good," Jake said. "Do you have any of that brisket left from shabbat?"

*Jake, do you ever think about anything other than food?* Dalia asked.

"Avi's romantic entanglements. Or lack thereof," Jake replied, shooting me an evil grin. I lightly slapped his shoulder in rebuke, but he didn't apologize.

*So, do you really think this Dan is interested in Avi?* Chava asked.

*I said we weren't going to discuss this now,* I responded, attempting to glare at all of them at once.

"Fine...we'll wait till we're at your place," Jake said. "Relax. We're just having a little fun - this is the first time I remember seeing you get flustered about anyone, male or female, since high school."

"We'll discuss it at home."

We spent the rest of the T ride home in relative silence. Dalia and Chava were having some conversation that I pointedly ignored. They were most likely discussing me, Dan, and possible scenarios to get us together, but I refused to get into it until I was in a safer place, both in terms of who might hear us and in terms of my own comfort with the subject.

By the time we got to Coolidge Corner, I was positive this was a bad idea. The Gang of Three had a reputation for single-minded focus; everyone who knew them had learned quickly that once the Gang had set their minds to something, nothing would distract them. And now I was their sole focus.

Oh, boy, was I in trouble.

We made it up Harvard St. without running into anyone from shul, so I didn't have to deal with making polite conversation with people while my brain was all befuddled. As we walked past J.P. Licks, there was a brief debate around the topic of stopping to pick up ice cream to eat during this discussion. Chava and Dalia seemed to think it an integral part of any relationship-related discussion; Jake reiterated his desire to raid my shabbat leftovers, which - being fleishig, would preclude them being followed by ice cream. Amazingly, Jake won. But that was most likely because Dalia and Chava couldn't agree on which flavor of ice cream went with this sort of relationship discussion.

That settled, we continued on to my apartment, where I immediately attempted to divert attention from the proposed topic at hand by warming up leftovers for lunch. But the Three were not to be stopped.

Dalia, always the most persistent, was first out of the gate with questions. *So tell us more about Dan, Avi. Where'd you meet him, why was he in Copley with you this morning, what does he do for a living? Come on, give.*

"Well, as I said, he's a friend of Dave Weiss. He was with Dave when Dave dropped by some sheet music for Moshe and me, and Dan accidentally left his sunglasses behind. Between my work schedule and his, today was really the only time he could get his glasses back," I replied. "He's in software, I know that, and he works in Kendall, but other than that, we didn't really talk." Or, at least, Dan didn't. I was the proverbial babbling brook, going on about ASL and name signs and handshapes and other idiotic things no one but me cares about.

"So he comes to Copley, picks up his shades, and then hops back on the T. That doesn't explain why he was with you at the T while you were waiting for us," Jake said around the forkful of brisket he was shoveling into his mouth.

"Well, he asked me to join him for a cup of coffee. And since I had to still wait for you three, I said sure."

*He asked you out for coffee?* Chava asked.

"Not out-out. We were there, the Starbucks was right across the street, the place is air-conditioned, and Dan asked if I wanted to join him for coffee. Don't read any more into it."

*Who paid for the coffee?* Dalia asked.

I blushed. "Well, he did. He said it was to thank me for returning his glasses."

"Yeah, right," Jake said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

*Avi, sweetie, he was checking out your butt for half the tour. He's interested in you.* Now that Dalia had come to this preposterous decision, she wasn't going to be dissuaded.

"And speaking of out-out," Jake said, and I knew this was going to be trouble, "do you know for sure he's interested in guys?"

*He was checking out Avi's butt,* Dalia repeated, just in case that fact had been missed the first time she'd mentioned it.

"Yeah, but Avi's got quite an attractive butt. If I weren't his brother, I might even have checked out said butt." Jake, I think, was just getting a kick out of watching me blush.

*Eww!* Chava's facial expression would've said it all, even without the accompanying sign.

"OK, that mental image I could live without," I said, glaring at Jake.

*Regardless of your brother's twisted mind, Avi, I doubt you have any concerns on that front. I'd say just call him.* Dalia - thankfully - tried to steer the conversation in a new direction.

"But I'm not ready, at all, to explore anything of this sort yet. Come on, guys; it hasn't even been a year since I started coming out to myself, let alone to you guys. It's not like I've gotten used to saying that I might be gay. I couldn't imagine saying it to Ima and Abba, who love me unconditionally. So forget me saying it to Dan - whom I've barely met - or to anyone else." In fact, the only people who really knew I was now beginning to think of myself as anything other than completely heterosexual were here in this room.

*Look, Avi, we're not saying you have to go proposition Dan and jump into bed with him right now...*

"Thanks, Dalia. Talk about mental pictures one could live without," I said.

Undeterred, Dalia continued. *But Dan seems like a nice guy, and there's nothing to stop you from becoming friends with him. If that's all you end up with, great. If it develops into something more, even better. Either way, though, you've got to make the first move, or nothing will happen. Call him. Ask him out for coffee or something. Come up with some excuse, if you want, but set a time to get together.*

I sighed. "You're not going to let me duck out of this, are you?"

"Nope," Jake responded, and Dalia and Chava shook their heads.

"Fine," I said finally. "I'll call him. But I need you guys here to give me moral support." Considering the tsuris they'd been giving me so far, I questioned the logic of having them here and potentially giving them even more fodder with which to tease me, but I knew that if they all left, I'd immediately chicken out and avoid calling Dan. And what could go wrong? It was just a simple phone call.

I checked the number - even though I'd memorized it by now - and then dialed. It rang once, then a brusque "Hello?"

I almost hung up right then, but I had the Gang of Three behind me, so I continued. "Uh...Dan? Is this a bad time?"

"Who is this, please?" He was less brusque, but still not overly friendly. My doubts redoubled.

"It's Avi...Avi Levine? From the walking tour?" OK, first I was making it sound like I wasn't sure who I was. That wasn't going to help much. I shot a look at the Gang of Three, who were signing opening gambits to me. I decided to go off on my own.

"It's good to hear from you, Avi. Sorry about my tone before; I thought it was my brother calling me back to harass me." He chuckled to himself, and the tone inexplicably warmed me. "What can I do for you?"

I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that this was just like calling Dave or Chaim or Gedalia for a movie night. Nothing threatening about it.

Yeah, right. But I was determined to go forward with this. "I know we didn't have much luck last week, trying to find a time to get together, and I feel really bad about making you come out on a Sunday morning just because I've got a whacked-out schedule. I'm going to be in Government Center all of next week, and I was wondering if you'd like to meet for lunch one day at the Milk Street Café, my treat. Sort of as an apology for shlepping you out into the heat early on a Sunday morning." I was proud of myself - I got through all that without stuttering once and without making a complete fool out of myself.

"I'd love to. How's Tuesday?" Dan replied.

I was suddenly at a loss. I hadn't anticipated his saying yes, and now I didn't have my schedule in front of me. "Tuesday?" I repeated, wildly signing to any of the Gang to bring me my Palm Pilot. Once Dalia handed it to me, I brought up Tuesday's schedule and sighed inwardly in relief. "Want to say 12:30?"

"That works for me," Dan said. "I've got a meeting that ends at noon, but it shouldn't take me more than 20 minutes to get from my office to Milk St. And I've got your cell phone number in case I'm running late."

"Great," I said, trying to keep my voice modulated despite the sudden increased rush of nerves. "I'll see you then."

"I look forward to it," Dan said. "Thanks for calling, Avi. And thanks again for the tour this afternoon."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you could join us."

"Maybe we could do it again some time."

"I'd like that," I said. I wondered whether I would be able to find some graceful way to end this conversation. But then I lucked out.

"Ah - Avi? That's my doorbell. I've got to go. I look forward to seeing you Tuesday for lunch."

"As do I. Be well."

"Thanks. Bye."

"Bye," I said and hung up. By the time I pulled my hand off the receiver, Chava and Dalia were already shooting questions at me, and Jake said "so, nu?"

"OK," I said, hoping to stop them before they got started again. "I asked him to lunch at Milk Street. A simple lunch, to make up for dragging him out so early this morning. That's all. Two potential friends having a potentially friendly lunch. Do not read anything further into it."

Somehow I knew that, despite my pronouncement, this would not be the last time they'd weigh in on the subject of Dan.

One more from Dani

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:33:36 GMT

Brotherly Advice - Dani

I got home on Sunday after the walking tour and immediately picked up the phone.

"'Alo?"

"Dudu?" I needed my brother's perspective on things, and while I knew it was going to set me up for future teasing, I couldn't imagine talking to anyone else about this. "It's Dani."

"I knew that. No one - except you and Ima - has the chutzpah to call me 'Dudu' anymore. And you're definitely not Ima.

"If your brother can't call you by a hated childhood nickname, who can? Anyway, I need your advice."

"You need my advice? That's different. Usually you completely ignore my advice and then live to regret it."

"It's a different situation; it's something I don't think I've ever experienced before."

"Who is he?" My brother is quick, I'll give him that.

"Friend of Dave Weiss. One of the guys in the group."

"How'd you meet him?"

"Remember how Dave schlepped me down to Harvard on our way to his place last week? It was to drop off something to Avi."

"The mystery guy's named Avi, eh? So, what - we're talking lust at first sight?"

"Dudu, he's...you remember that guy, Shai, that I knew in Basic?"

"The tall one with the gorgeous hands? You talked about him for months in your letters. How could I forget?"

"Physically, Avi's all that and more. He's gotta be at least 6'4", lanky but not too skinny...I'd love to see what's under that shirt he was wearing."

"Dani, slow down. No visualizing him naked until you've at least had dinner with the guy. Hell, at least until you know he's interested."

"That's one of the problems. I spent 3 hours with the guy today, and I'm getting absolutely nothing. He's an enigma."

"So is it just his looks that attract you?" Dudu asked.

I answered Dudu more honestly than, I think, either of us expected. "At first, yeah. Hell, Dudu, the guy's gorgeous. But now that I've actually talked to him, seen him interact with other people, I really want to know more about what's inside the massively attractive wrapping."

"He's not a gift box, Dani."

"I know that. Really I do. And, I'll admit it, the first impetus to learn more about him came from the fact that Dave was warning me off him. But he's fascinating, and I want to know more."

"So ask him out. Not like you haven't done it before, hundreds of times."

"Not hundreds, but I get your meaning. No, though. Avi's different. He's...I don't know. There's something about him - other than Dave's dire warnings - that tells me to step lightly with this one. Like he's an easily-frightened deer or something, and that moving too quickly will just make him bolt."

"You must be attracted to this guy - you're talking in cliches and Disney images. Lust always fogs your brain, Dani, and you end up doing stupid things."

"And that's exactly what I want to avoid this time. I don't want to rush things, I don't want to bulldoze him. Friendship is good. Friendship that grows into something more, even better. But..."

"But first you have to find out if he's gay?"

"That's part of it. First I have to get past them." I shuddered just to think about it.

"Them? Giant-ants-from-that-silly-science-fiction-movie-out-of-the-50s-Them?"

I never should have let Dudu loose on my videotape collection. "No, you idiot. Them, Avi's people. His Three Wiseguys. His brother, sister, and friend Dalia. Even just from our short interaction it was clear that these three watch out for Avi and would protect him from anything. Let me tell you, they scare me."

Dudu laughed.

"What are you laughing about?" I asked him, annoyed. Being laughed at by oneself is bad enough; being laughed at by one's younger brother is downright humiliating.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered so early in a relationship. It's cute."

"Cute?!? You think this is cute? Avi's got guard dogs and you think my concern is cute?"

"Dani, calm down. You're a suave guy. You can charm them easily...and if that doesn't work, you're a highly-trained weapons expert, remember?" Dudu was still laughing at me, the asshole.

"Suave and charm isn't what's called for here, Dudu. The Wiseguys aren't that gullible. They're watching out for Avi's best interests, and they're not at all convinced that I'm in Avi's best interests." Hell, at this point, I'm not convinced I'm in Avi's best interests. "Therefore, I need to go slow and easy. And I have no fucking clue how to do slow and easy."

"So now you have to ask yourself a question." Dudu paused, I assumed for dramatic effect. The dork.

"And that would be...?" I prompted him. I swore I'd kill Dudu - slowly, painfully - if he said 'Do you feel lucky, punk?'

"Is he worth your learning how to do slow and easy?"

"Fuck, yes."

"So why are you bothering me, then?" Dudu asked. There was humor in his voice, though, so I knew he didn't mean it.

"I just needed to hear my thoughts out loud, I think. I needed to say these things to someone, to get confirmation that I wasn't crazy, that this might be something worth pursuing, even though it will require me to completely change how I approach relationships."

"You're not crazy, Dani. And, you know, changing the way you approach relationships might not be a bad idea. Since you came out, have you been in any relationship that lasted more than six months?"

"No. The longest relationship I've had with a guy was about four months, with Binyamin. But he moved to Amsterdam; that wasn't my fault."

"True. But what about the guys you've dated who haven't moved overseas? Why didn't those relationships last?"

"Myriad reasons, but I get your point. Slow and easy might be just what I need. Especially if he's straight and Dalia's his girlfriend. Though quick and obvious might be a less painful way to find out he's not at all interested."

"Or the fastest way to convince him that you're not the guy to date."

"So how do I keep from being the bull in the china shop and destroying every possibility of something coming of this?"

"Dani, I'm going to deny that I ever said this if it comes up in the future, but you're really a thoughtful guy, sensitive to others' feelings. So I can't see you completely ignoring Avi's feelings and pushing him into doing things he's not ready for. More likely, honestly, is you holding back, being too cautious and not reading the signs he's trying to give you. If he is interested, he'll let you know somehow. You just have to be receptive to those signs when they come along."

Dudu always manages to surprise me. "How'd you get so insightful, brother-of-mine?" I asked.

"Too many fucked-up relationships, I guess. And years of therapy."

Oh, right. That. Not that it was really her fault, but a bad breakup with a girlfriend was the last straw that sent Dudu into a tailspin that culminated with his admittance into a local mental hospital. We don't talk about it much.

"So," Dudu continued, "are you gonna take advantage of any of this sage advice from your brilliant and much-beloved brother?"

"I'm going to give it a try, if Avi's at all interested. Now I just have to figure out how to figure that out."

"Here's a bold suggestion. How about you ask?"

"What, like 'Hey, Avi, do you sleep with guys?' That's not really subtle or slow or easy, Dudu."

"No, but 'hey, Avi, do you want to have coffee again some time' is subtle, and you might be able to, based on his response to your question, determine whether it'll be two friends just going for coffee or two guys on a first date."

"Good point. Thanks, Dudu; I really appreciate this. I feel like a kid asking out his first girlfriend...or boyfriend. But this just feels different. Avi's more reserved than anyone - male or female - that I've ever lusted after before."

"So you'll call him?"

"Yeah. Right after I get off the phone with you."

"Cool. Let me know what happens, won't you?"

"Sure will," I said. "Hey, Dudu? I owe you one."

"You sure do. Make me dinner some night this week?" Dudu's in grad school in computer science, and he spends all his free time either in the library or in the computer lab. Real meals only come his way when he gets someone to cook for him or take him out.

"Sure. You name the night."

"I'll let you know, OK?"

"OK." I paused. "Love ya, kid." He hates it when I call him "kid" just slightly less than when I call him Dudu.

"Yeah, I know. You're an idiot, you know that? But if this becomes something real, you'll let me know, right?"

"You'll be the first."

"G'night, big idiot brother."

"G'night, twerp."

We hung up and I stared at the phone. I was going to call Avi, as I'd told Dudu. But I wanted to be sure of what I was going to say first. I'd just about had my thoughts in order when the phone rang.

"Fuck. Talk about bad timing," I said to the empty apartment. I picked up the phone. "Hello?" I said, a bit harsher than I usually answered calls.

"Uh...Dan? Is this a bad time?"

It was Avi. This, I thought, was a good sign.

More early stuff...

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:28:51 GMT

Coffee, Tea, Or...OK, Coffee It Is - Dani

Getting up early on Sunday morning to go into downtown Boston in the heat of August wasn't a common thing for me to do by my own design. But Avi and I had finally found a mutually-acceptable time to get together for him to return the sunglasses I'd left behind at the Harvard Hillel when I was there with Dave, and I wasn't going to turn down an opportunity to see him. No matter how inconvenient it was.

So that's how I found myself at the main entrance to the Boston Public Library at 10:30 on one of the hottest August mornings we'd seen so far this year. Of course, to compensate for the heat, I'd chosen the coolest, most breathable clothing I own - a loose-weave polo shirt and shorts, no socks and my standard sandals.

Avi was there already when I arrived, standing in front of the bus shelter and reading a book. He was dressed similarly to me, but he was wearing sneakers instead of sandals.

"Hey, Avi," I said.

Avi looked up from his book and smiled shyly at me. "Hi, Dan," he said. "Thanks for coming out to meet me here."

"Thanks for finding my glasses. Sorry it took so long to find a time to meet up."

"I'm sorry I couldn't bring them to you at work. Had I been in the Cambridge area at all this week, it might've worked out, but since I was out in Burlington all week, it just wasn't feasible before shabbat."

I grimaced. "Yeah. Sorry again for calling you on shabbat. I really should know better, being friends with Dave and all."

"Eh, no problem. For one thing, I leave my cell phone off over shabbat, so it didn't even ring and bother me. Second, it sounded like you'd lost complete track of what day it was by the time you left the message."

"Yeah, it's been one of those weeks. Working crazy hours trying to fix last-minute bugs can really mess with my sense of time. But I usually know when it's shabbat."

Avi nodded. "Anyway, I've got your glasses," he said. He pulled a glasses case out of his backpack, opened it, and handed me my sunglasses.

"Thanks so much." We'd taken care of the business that had brought us here, but I was loath to leave so quickly. And he had said in his phone message that his thing today - I didn't honestly even remember what it was - didn't start until 11. "Hey," I said, quickly looking up and down Boylston St. for something I could invite Avi to do for the short time he had available. Thank God for Starbucks. "Do you have time for a cup of coffee?"

After glancing at his watch, Avi said, "Yes, I have about 20 minutes before I have to meet up with the tour I'm working. And an iced coffee would be perfect."

"Great," I said. I was glad to have the opportunity to get to know Avi better; he'd been occupying large portions of my thoughts - and my fantasies - since Tuesday.

We crossed the street and entered the - thank God, air conditioned - coffee shop. Avi looked around and spotted an empty table, which he quickly claimed by leaving his backpack on one of the chairs. He then came back to where I was standing, at the end of the ordering line.

"Do you want me to order your iced coffee?" I asked. "I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be just leaving my bag unattended like that." I wasn't sure if it was my experience in Israel kicking in, but I had an aversion to unattended packages and parcels, even if I knew their origin.

Avi shrugged. "Eh, I'm not concerned, but sure - get me a medium, with milk and sugar," he said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

I waved him off. "My treat. Really. I appreciate your finding my sunglasses; buying you coffee is the least I could do."

"Thanks," he said, giving me another of those adorable shy smiles and putting his wallet back in his pocket. "I'll be over there." He pointed to the table where he'd left his bag.

"I'll be just a minute," I responded. I turned back toward the counter, but I tried to keep my eye on Avi as he walked back to the table, purely for aesthetic appreciation.

I was so distracted by the scenery that I missed the first "can I help you?" from the teenager behind the counter. Either that, or they're training them to be obnoxious from the get-go, because the "can I help you" I actually heard was much more pointed than necessary. But I ordered our drinks and then walked over to the table Avi had staked out.

"It shouldn't take too long. You've still got about 15 minutes, right?"

"Well, I like to be there early, but we're meeting at the entrance to the outbound T, so it's only about a 2 minute walk from here. I've got time."

The kid at the counter gestured to me and I went and got our drinks and then returned to the table and sat down. Avi immediately took a long drink from his coffee then smiled. "First coffee of the day is always the best," he said.

"This is only your first?" I asked, grinning. "To get up this early on a Sunday, I need at least 2 - one right before my shower and one right after. So this one," I gestured to my cup, virtually identical to Avi's, "is three. There will probably be at least 2 more today, though I am trying to cut down on my caffeine intake."

"Wow. One more after this, and I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Two more and I'm bouncing off the walls and babbling rather incoherently. I haven't done more than that, and not since college." I hoped that this string of sentences without a blush meant that Avi was becoming more comfortable with me.

"So," I said after another sip or four, "what is it that you do, anyway? I know you said in various phone messages that you interpret and that you use AJ as your professional name, but what do you interpret, and why do you have a 'professional' name?" I refrained from asking if "Avi" was his amateur name; after all, he was more comfortable with me than I'd anticipated, given Dave's warnings on Tuesday, and I didn't want to spook him. For reasons that were not yet clear to me, this connection between us was special and I didn't want to jinx it from the outset.

"I'm an ASL - American Sign Language, that is - interpreter, and a lot of people find 'AJ' easier to sign" and here he did some quick hand gesture "than either 'Avraham'" - a longer hand gesture - "or even Avi" - a mid-length hand gesture accompanied this statement. "When I was given my name sign, my instructor asked me for my initials and decided that 'AJ' was a good designation for me."

I was fascinated - it appeared that if you got Avi talking about his profession he wasn't nearly as shy. So I asked another question. "Name sign?"

"A shorthand, so to speak, to designate a person within the Deaf community. They tend to be very community-specific, meaning that if I were to move, say, to New York and there was already an AJ in the community, some adjustment would be made to my name sign - placement, movement, something to differentiate between me and this other mythical AJ. My friend Dalia's name sign is a 'D' handshape done at the side of the face, near the eye, because Dalia's eyes are so strikingly blue. My sister Chava's name sign is a 'C' handshape combined with the sign for 'funny' because Chava has a wicked sense of humor." Avi blushed. "Sorry for going on like that."

"No, I'm really interested. So your sister's an interpreter, too?"

"No," Avi responded. "Chava's deaf."

"Oh," I said. "That was going to be my second guess."

There was a brief pause, then Avi said, "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"Not spouting some sort of platitude or expressing your sympathy for my sister's deafness."

"It's who she is. There's no reason to put a value judgement, positive or negative, on it."

"That's such a refreshing attitude."

I shrugged. "I learned early on that judging someone based on differences - disability, religious beliefs, ethnic background, whatever - was a really bad idea. And I just try to apply that across the boards."

"It's a nice change, that's all," Avi said. He blushed again and then looked at his watch. "Look, I hate to do this, but I've got to run and meet the rest of the tour group." He pushed back his chair, stood, and grabbed his backpack and the remnants of his coffee.

I stood up, as well. "I'll walk you over there - I've got to catch the T back to Park St., and I can cross the street there as easily as here." I really didn't want to let Avi go just yet, now that I was beginning to learn more about him.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Positive." I picked up my bag and we headed out of the coffee shop.

"So what's the deal with this tour?" I asked.

"Well, my friend Steve is a local tour guide, and periodically he'll do a special, interpreted tour. I try to support those as much as possible, so I tend to sign up to be the interpreter and I bring as many friends as I can drum up. So today, for instance, I'm bringing both my siblings and my friend Dalia."

"So you have two siblings? Are they both deaf?"

"No. Jake can hear, but he's fluent in Sign. And, anyway, Steve is going to be talking the whole tour. There will be some hearing people there; it's just that we make this one accessible to the local Deaf community as well."

"That's really cool."

We approached the meeting place at the corner, and Avi looked around. "No sign of them yet. Figures."

I looked at my watch. It was still 5 minutes before 11. "I'm sure they'll be along soon. T's probably running slow."

"Probably." Avi looked around again.

"Hey," I said. "Do you mind if I stay and keep you company 'til they show up? I'm really not looking forward to heading home to an afternoon of laundry and grocery shopping."

"Sure," Avi said. "I have a book with me, but waiting with someone is better."

"Thanks," I said.

We waited only a couple of minutes - talking about random things, like the fact that it has rained every Saturday this summer and how that made even the most brief outing annoying - before three people approached us. Or, more precisely, approached Avi.

"Hey, Av," the guy in the triad said.

"Hey, Jake," Avi responded. He then did something that looked like a salute toward the two women. They signed back something to him, and he gestured to me.

"This is Dan Perez. He's a friend of Dave Weiss." As he spoke, Avi was signing as well. I figured he was telling the women - who I guessed were Dalia and Chava - what he was saying to Jake as well.

"Dan," Avi said, turning to me, "this is my brother Ya'akov, my sister Chava, and my friend Dalia." He gestured to the women as he spoke their names. Chava was a short, petite brunette with long, light-brown hair pulled back into a single braid down her back. Dalia was taller, though shorter than either Ya'akov or me (and definitely shorter than Avi), and blonde, with wavy, shoulder-length hair. And it was quite obvious that Ya'akov and Avi were brothers. Were it not that Avi was about 3 inches taller, they could've been mistaken for one another. Except for the grin on Ya'akov's face - I couldn't picture that expression on Avi's.

"Nice to meet you all," I said as Avi translated for me.

"Good to meet you, too," Ya'akov said. "You joining us on this thing?"

"I wasn't planning on it, but Avi's been telling me a bit about the tour, and it sounds really interesting." And the opportunity to spend at least part of the day with Avi wasn't something I'd turn down.

Ya'akov relayed what Dalia was signing. "Yeah, please join us. There's bound to be plenty of space."

"Dal, we'll have to check with Steve, really," Avi said while signing back to Dalia.

"But he'll say yes," Dalia said, again through Ya'akov.

"Dal..." Avi started, but Dalia glared at him and Avi stopped whatever protest he was about to voice. He turned back toward me. "Dan, if you're really interested in joining us, I'll check with Steve. And Dalia's right - he's bound to say yes."

"I'd love to." And even despite the heat, it was true.

Avi - who, I was begining to discover, was prepared for almost any eventuality - pulled a spare baseball cap out of his bag. "You'll want this, even if you don't think so now.

I took the hat from him and put it on. "Thanks." I also double-checked my bag to make sure my water bottle was full.

We met up with Steve, the tour guide, and he was more than happy for me to join. It was a small group, most likely due to the extended heat wave we were experiencing, but the information was interesting and very well presented. I wondered whether Avi was planning on doing any more of these, and if I could find reasons to join in.

And that's how I ended up learning more than I'd realized there was to know about the buildings in Copley Square. But more importantly, I learned a great deal about Avi, both from how he interacted with his siblings and Dalia and also from things that they - with Ya'akov's assistance when necessary - said about him. It was very clear the four of them were close.

I still had much more to learn about Avi, but now it seemed possible that I would have more opportunities to do so. He'd seemed comfortable having coffee with me; it was casual, easy, and public. I decided I'd have to see whether he'd say yes to repeating the experience.

May as well start at the beginning...

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:26:45 GMT

At First Sight - Dani

It turned out to be the best random errand I'd been dragged along on, but I didn't know that at the time.

At the time, I was annoyed, exhausted, and starving. And it was all Dave's fault.

"Meet me in the Harvard T station," he had said. "Near the schedule racks. We'll grab the bus from there, if you don't mind me running a quick errand first."

"How quick?" I asked, knowing Dave and his "quick errands."

"Five minutes. Promise - b'li neder. And then I'll make sure you get real food."

"And by real food you mean..." Dave's definition of food runs to the chips-and-soda variety more often than not, and I really needed protein at that point, having survived all day on chips and soda.

"I'll make you dinner. So we'll both be able to eat it." For all that he's a junk-food junkie, Dave's a great cook, so this was real incentive. And he's strictly kosher, so his offering to cook meant no logistical gyrations to find food that would make both of us happy.

This all started because Dave and I had a presentation to prepare for a local Hadassah group - a brief history of Israel and the Arab conflict. Dave was the Arab history maven; I was on the program because I was a sucker. And Dave had said that the only time he could meet this week to go through my slides was that Tuesday evening. So there I was, being dragged down Mt. Auburn Street in the heat of August to a room I was close to being guaranteed wasn't air conditioned. Just so Dave could drop off some sheet music for the a cappella group he sings with.

"Dave, if this stuff is so important that they get it tonight, why don't you have rehearsal?"

"We're on hiatus for a couple more weeks. But Moshe and Avi really wanted to work on the new arrangement of Erev Shel Shoshanim, and since I had the sheet music handy, I promised I'd drop it by. It'll seriously take just a few minutes."

If Dave didn't have such a ridiculously busy schedule to begin with, I never would've agreed to this. But he's notoriously hard to pin down, so we've learned to take advantage of coincidental free time whenever possible.

"OK," I finally said. "But I'm going to hold you to that 'just a few minutes'."

"No problem. Really."

We entered the Harvard Hillel building and climbed to the second floor.

"They really just let you meet here?" I asked, looking around the lobby.

"Yeah," Dave said. "One of the perks of Moshe being faculty - when classes aren't in session, he can use the building as long as there's not something already scheduled there. And since they have a halfway decent piano, it's a great rehearsal space for us. C'mon, they're in the back room."

We crossed the hall toward one of the small meeting rooms. There were two guys in there, bent over a table and a pile of papers.

"No, more of a salsa beat. Can't you picture it?" one of them said, scribbling furiously on the top paper.

"Salsa? For 'Ani Ma'amin?' Are you nuts?" the other replied.

"I think it'll work. If Beat'achon can do it to 'Kah Ribon,' we can do it to 'Ani Ma'amin'."

"Uh...guys? I brought the sheet music," Dave said, effectively cutting off the discussion.

Both combatants looked up. "Cool. Hand it over," the first guy said, coming around the table with his hand outstretched.

"You're welcome, Avi," Dave said, grinning.

"Thanks," the guy - Avi - responded.

As he came better into view, I had to control my instinct to drool. He had so much that I look for physically in a guy - tall, slim but not too thin, long fingers. I'd have to remember to ask Dave some pointed questions about him once we were somewhere more private.

"Hey, Avi? This is Dani. He was kind enough to let me drag him along on the way to my place."

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," Avi responded much more quietly than he'd responded to Dave.

"You've got to forgive Avi," the second guy said. "He's shy when he's not on stage."

"Moshe!" Avi yelped. A very cute blush started working its way up Avi's face.

"Hi," Moshe said, coming toward us. "I'm Moshe, the brains of this organization."

"Yeah, right, like you think so," Dave said. The two of them began bantering, and I took the opportunity to really look at Avi while he was watching Dave and Moshe.

"So," I said to Avi after a minute or so, "I take it you're involved with this group?"

"I'm one of the founders. And I sing baritone." Avi was blushing again; I wondered if he was just shy or if it was something about me that was setting him off like this.

"That's cool. Would you mind if I came by a rehearsal some time?" I had no idea why I asked that, but if he was one of the founders of the group, then it was probably important to him. And if it was important to him, I suddenly wanted to know more about it.

"Yeah...I mean, no. I mean, it's fine if you want to come by rehearsal some time. We'll only be meeting here for a couple more weeks, until the students come back. After that, we'll probably be meeting at my place in Coolidge Corner until we find a new rehearsal space for the academic year." Avi blushed again.

"Hey, Dan; get a move on. I thought you were hungry!" I hadn't noticed, but Dave and Moshe had stopped bickering, and Dave had headed back to the doorway.

"Coming," I called back. I looked at Avi one last time. "It was a pleasure meeting you. I hope to see you again."

"Thanks," Avi almost-whispered. "Come back soon." He blushed again and turned back to join Moshe over the stack of papers.

I met up with Dave over at the doorway and we headed back out toward the T.

"What was all that about?" Dave asked me.

"Avi...intrigues me. I'd love to get to know him better," I replied.

"Dani, Avi's...not what you're looking for. Really."

I didn't know if Dave meant that Avi was straight or that Avi was involved with someone, or both.

"Is it OK if I make a new friend, dad?" I asked, unable to keep the sharp tone out of my voice.

"A new friend is fine. Try for a new conquest, I think, and you'll hurt Avi more than you can even imagine." He stopped walking and turned to face me, a stern look in his eyes. "And I will not allow that. Keep that in mind."

"I will, Dave. I promise."

"B'li neder," we said simultaneously. Dave smiled at me, but I knew that, even though we'd come to some consensus about him, I was still determined to learn more about Avi.

If nothing more, I hoped to gain a friendship. And if something more could come of it, that would be even better. Only time would tell, and I was determined to give this as much time as necessary.